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日本100本指に入る育メンが政治の世界に足を踏み入れるまで

ー遡ること2019年の夏、我が家は大きな岐路に立っていました。
このまま夫婦で会社経営を続けていくか?
それとも、別の選択肢をとるのか? 

子どもが小さい時くらいもっと家族の時間を持てる働き方がしたい!トライしたけど、、、

ワンオペではなく、家事育児仕事を夫婦でシェアするライフスタイルを描いて2年半前に立ち上げたのが夫婦経営の小さな広告代理店「番-TSUGAI」でした。

設立は上の娘が3歳、下の息子が生後1週間のタイミング。

家事育児仕事、夫婦2人でなら、どうにかなると思っていたけど、無謀でした。1人目のことを思い出せばわかるはずなのに、むしろそれを上回ると言われている2人目、当然どうにもなりませんでした。

両親は福島にいて頼れないし、元々営業と経営気質の私がフルで関われないことはかなりの痛手でした。1を10にしていくことが得意な夫も、かなり踏ん張ってくれましたが下地のない大都会札幌で、ゼロからやっていくには荷が重すぎました。

成れの果てが2019夏。家事育児仕事どころか、夫婦の関係性自体にも暗い影を落とす深刻な事態へと発展していました。

仕事とプライベートの境界線がなくなり、いつの間にか家庭の中でも私がCEO、彼がCOOのような関係になっていました。

「子どもたちが生まれてから、ずっと、子どもたちのことと、会社のことと、家のことと、これからどうしたらいい?って全部考えてる。もうそろそろ、どれか1つだけでも担ってくれなきゃ無理!このままじゃ、あなたのことを好きでもいられなくなる!」

こうして、私たちは冒頭の岐路に立ちました。

ーこのまま夫婦で会社経営を続けていくか?
ーそれとも、別の選択肢をとるのか?

日本人男性100本の指に入る育児スペックの実態

稼ぎは夫、家事育児は妻。
そもそも日本社会の縦割り役割分担に疑問を持っていた私たちは、第一子目が産まれてからも、敢えてその選択は取らずにここまできました。結果としては上記のようになったけれど、そのこと自体は全く後悔していません。

産褥期、自分の体がガタガタで最も手の必要な時に、一番信頼できる夫が常にそばにいてくれたことは、メンタルを安定させてくれました。オムツ替え、沐浴、着替え、寝かしつけと、かなり積極的に育児に参加してくれました。「母乳が出たらいいのに」とよく言っていた彼。

「お父さんができないのなんてオッパイをあげることくらいだ」
2度の自宅出産の介助を経験し、生後間も無くからオマルで排泄させ、汚れた布オムツを洗うのも彼の役割でした。スリングでの寝かしつけなどお手の物。産後の肥立ちが悪かった頃は2時間おきに起きて、母乳介助もしてくれていました。それが原因で帯状疱疹が出たぐらいにして(笑)

おそらく同世代の日本人男性の中では、TOP100に入るであろう参加率と育児スペックでした。

育児に関しては、現在進行形で本当によくやってくれています。だからこそ、私は鬱にならずに今日の日まで来れていますし、子どもたちと夫との信頼関係性も、他の家庭に比べかなり高いと感じています。 

また、やっぱりどんなに頼れる両親や友だちがいたとしても、ふたりの子どもな訳ですから、子どもを産んで最も物理的に大変、そう、大きく変わる時を、共に経験し喧々諤々しながらも歩んできた時間は、夫婦の間に筆舌し尽くせぬ共有財産を築きました。

産褥期は「何があろうともこの子たちの父親であること、母親である私を支えてくれるのはこの人しかいない」と、地底深くでがっしりと繋がることのできる人生に何度とない稀有な時間なのです。

40歳を目前に彼がチャレンジすると決めた世界

しかしまだ日本は、育児のキャリアがキャリアカウントされる国では、残念ながらありません。だからこそ、小泉進次郎さんですら頭を悩ますわけなのですが。御多分に漏れず私たちの元にも「これからのキャリアは?生活は?」そんな風が吹き始めたのでした。

今はいい。でも、子どもはいずれ大きくなる。未来を見据えたキャリアや経済力には不安がないと言ったら嘘です。今思えば、私がそんな風を感じられるようになったのも、ようやく下の子が2歳すぎ、やや「猫の手も借りたい」時期を脱しつつあり、体も産後三年といわれる期間の終わりに近づき回復の途にあった。要は、メンタルも体力も時間にも先のことを考える「余裕」が幾ばくか出てきたということだったのでしょう。

働き方を変えよう。
彼に専業主夫になってもらうのか?
どうしようか?
考えに考え抜いた結論、ひとまず私は一緒に働くことを、手放すという選択をしました。

きっと、彼とこのまま公私を分けずに進んでも、よい結果は得られないと感じたからでした。

また上の子から数えて5年半、産後もずっと仕事を続ける中で、頭の片隅に常にあった「もっと子どもとちゃんと向き合いたい」という気持ちを昇華するタイミングは今しかないとも思いました。来年小学校に入ってしまったら、もしかしたら、もうそんなことも物理的に叶わないかもしれない。子育ては「今」なのです。

アラフォー、働き盛りの彼のキャリアや能力を私が握りしめていない方がいいのでは?とも考えました。

「子どものことと家のことは私が預かる。あなたは、40前のあと3年、大事な3年、本当にやりたいと思っていること、興味のある事にチャレンジして、キャリアを積み、稼ぎを得る方法を自分で考えてみてほしい」

思い切って伝えました。

男の人にとって40歳というのは大きな節目だと、若い頃から直感的に感じてきました。使える男か?否か?は40までに決まると。 

それまでにどう生きてきたか?

何に挑戦してきたか?だと。

だからこそ、彼の人生とって大切なこの3年をどう生きるのか?

私が決めるのではなく、彼自身に決めてチャレンジしてほしいと伝えました。

彼自身のCEO(最高経営責任者)は彼しかいないのだと。

彼は言いました。

「慈は今まで俺に『これをして、あれをして』と数々のお題を投げてきたけど、そのお題がこの2年半で『自分で決めて』『自分の人生を生きて』というようになったね」

きっと、私も成長したのだと思います。
そして、同時に彼にもそういうタームがやってきたのだと思います。

「1週間時間をくれ」

と言って、彼は自分で結論を出しました。

「政治の世界を見てみたい。」

と。

※次回に続く

日本100本指に入る育メンが政治の世界に足を踏み入れるまで” に18件のコメントがあります

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