コラム

白と黒の夢の世界

小さい頃、よく見ていた夢がある。
今思い出してみれば、何とも不思議な夢だ。
あれの世界は何だったんだろう。
随分大きくなってからも度々見ていた記憶がある。
ストーリーはない。
でもとにかく「こわかった」という印象と「何かとても大切なこと」である気がして、アラフォー近づく今も尚、鮮明に思い出せるのだ。

こわいこわいこわいこわい!

いつも見ているから、わかっているはずなのにやっぱりこわい。

その夢はこうだ。

気づくと必ず真っ暗な世界にいる

もの凄くうるさく
とてつもなく汚い
見たこともない怪物のような
黒くてゴツゴツしたものたちが
私の頭の上で有象無象している

このけたたましい音は何だろう?
足元にあるこれは破壊されたものの残骸だろうか?
漂っているものは
煙なのか?
埃なのか?
異臭なのか?
わからない

今にも押しつぶされそうで、
叫んでも全く聞こえない
そこに人がいるのかさえわかならい

こわいこわいこわい

こわいこわいこわい

助けて、助けて、助けて

誰かここから出して

必死に祈ると、急にパッと世界が変わる。

打って変わって真っ白な世界

どこまでもどこまでも真っ白で
何もない

シーーーーーーーーンと
静まり返っていて物音ひとつしない

誰もいなければ
虫ケラ一匹の気配すらしない

むしろ上も下もないような感覚すらある

白なのか?もしくは透明なのか?

右に行っても
左に行っても、
前に行っても
後ろに行っても
どこまでも真っ白で何もない

呼んでも自分の声がこだまして
世界に吸い込まれ
すぅっと消えていくだけ

助けて、、、
誰かいないの?
私はどうしたらいいの?

ひとりだということを突きつけられるようで
声を出すことも躊躇する

あの世界も怖いけど

この世界も怖い

ひどい時は、何度もこの2つの世界を行ったり来たりする。

やめて、やめて、やめてくれ。

そうしてハッと気付いて
いつも起きるのだ。

しかし

起きてもなお、部屋のあの壁の端は

白黒の世界へ繋がっている気がして

また、あの世界に連れていかれてしまいそうで

この夢を見た日の夜は決まって眠れなかった。

白と黒の世界の夢ーーー
何を示していたものなのか?
どうして度々そんな夢を見ていたのか?
今となっても皆目見当がつかない。

友達は「次元を超えていたんじゃない?」という
例えばそうだったとしても、何の意味があって?

本当のところはどうなのだろう?

いつか答えを見つけたい。

白と黒の夢の世界” に2,169件のコメントがあります

  1. This was confirmed by showing that AUC П„ and C max values for day 5 were equivalent to corresponding values for day 10 as evidenced by the 90 CI for the ratio of LS geometric means lying entirely within the equivalence range of 80 to 125 cheap cialis from india The Journeyman Dir

  2. take medicines called nitrates such as nitroglycerin use street drugs called poppers such as amyl nitrate or amyl nitrite, and butyl nitrate take any medicines called guanylate cyclase stimulators such as riociguat Adempas are allergic to sildenafil, as contained in Viagra and REVATIO, or any of the ingredients in Viagra cialis 5 mg best price usa This generic is produced in India

  3. I was prescribed Clomid from Defy doctor the other day to see if i can boost my free testosterone. clomid New England journal of medicine, 2014 , 371 2 , 119 129 added to CENTRAL 31 August 2014 2014 Issue 8.

  4. We presented these patients in terms of their baseline characteristics, and compared pre-treatment and post-treatment Testosterone levels, evaluating the relationship of treatment period testosterone changes with both hCG dosage and duration of therapy. nolvadex price

  5. To test the role of estrogen in changing NOS activity during gestation, guinea pigs at full term either at 58 or 61 d of gestation received four doses of the estrogen receptor partial agonist tamoxifen 250 Ојg intraperitonally twice a day, and the fetal brains were removed 6 h after the last injection on d 60 buying legal tamoxifin Men with elevated levels of LH and FSH generally have testicular damage

  6. The recent analysis from the IBIS I study showed a higher drop out rates in the tamoxifen arm, but the adherence did not differ between tamoxifen and placebo considering the overall reported symptoms 9 whats clomid org activity p 132664 Australian prohormones, best protein powder for shredding body fat

  7. A common issue found with steroids is that the muscle gained while using will disappear once they are off the gear clomid pct dosing The eLEcTRA trial compared efficacy and safety of letrozole combined with trastuzumab to letrozole alone in patients with HER2 and hormone receptor HR positive metastatic breast cancer MBC

  8. Prevalence of Prostate Cancer Among Hypogonadal Men with Prostate- Specific Antigen Levels of 4 best place to buy cialis online This activity outlines the indications, mechanism of action, methods of administration, important adverse effects, contraindications, monitoring, and toxicity of paroxetine, so providers can direct patient therapy in treating conditions for which it is indicated as part of the interprofessional team

  9. drug information and news for professionals and consumers. Comprehensive side effect and adverse reaction information.
    sildenafil buy
    Some are medicines that help people when doctors prescribe. All trends of medicament.

  10. These consist of Anxiety, stress and anxiety or other mental health conditions Tension Relationship issues due to tension, poor communication or other concerns As you get older, erections may take longer to develop and might not be as company cialis generic buy I was really stiff and it took me a few moments to get out of bed or up from a chair

  11. You have somke reaⅼly good posts and I belіeve I would bе a gooⅾ asset. If yoᥙ ever wɑnt too take somе oof
    tһe load off, Ι’d absolutеly love카지노사이트 tⲟ ѡrite sߋme c᧐ntent for your
    blog in exchange for a link Ьack to mіne. Please send me an email іf іnterested. Tһank ʏou!

  12. Even though the App Store refuses any connection with real money gambling apps, there are in-app purchases. For example, coin packages cost between $1.99 and $99.99, depending on the number and amount of coins a player would add to the secure wallet. The best mobile casino app to win real money is BetMGM. It is the most popular real money casino app in the country, with the best selection of games and some very exciting bonuses. Another very important factor for us was the ability to play casino games which are mobile-friendly. Most mobile casinos have rich selections of slots and the same is true for casinos featured in the previous sections. Almost all legal and regulated online casinos are available for both iOS (iPhone iPad) and Android powered devices. We say “almost” as some iOS powered apps are delayed while waiting for Apple approval. The iOS and Android apps are practically identical for all online casinos and both offer all the same options. Some game offerings may vary between platforms but are also likely delayed awaiting approval and will eventually be available on both iOS and Android.
    https://spn.go.th/community/profile/tommyspeer8565/
    You can also develop some bad habits that would not translate well if real money was on the line. You might use a strategy that involves excessive risk-taking, which could be disastrous if you need the money that you brought to a real casino. Social casinos have a lot to offer, and to discover everything you need to know about the best social casino with real money options, read our free guide. Real money casino deposits and redemptions are not essential to the social casino experience, unlike playing at normal real money online casinos. However, despite the no purchase necessary policy, most players eventually buy coins to play their favorite games for longer. All the above criteria are not just for the browser version of the casino, but also for any and all mobile options. Not only are mobile options expected, but we’ve found that social casinos are often ahead of much of the gaming world when it comes to high-quality social casino apps. So, our expectations for the best social casino app options are sky-high.

  13. Her career was already climbing in ranks, but ABC’s co-hosting role earned her the title of the first woman anchor. Please enter a search term. TV news anchors look effortlessly polished — until you know all the work that goes on behind the scenes. Bright studio lights and cutting-edge HD cameras require a level of artistry that’s half van Gogh, half MacGyver. Davis helped lead ABC News’ coverage of the 2022 midterm elections and was at the forefront of ABC News’ coverage of the 2020 presidential election, spanning all eight nights of the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. She co-anchored major political events such as two presidential debates, the vice presidential debate, presidential election coverage and Inauguration Day. Showcasing her tough but fair moderating skills at ABC News’ Democratic presidential debates in September 2019 and February 2020, Davis held candidates accountable on topics of racial inequality and other key issues.
    https://gfi-presse.de/gelandewagen-und-77-weitere-attraktive-preise-suchen-neue-besitzer-wd-40-macht-sieger
    ‘+o.contentRating+” Blocking YouTube channels from appearing in your home feed takes just a few seconds. Blocking YouTube channels from appearing in your home feed takes just a few seconds. Get on the bleeding edge of the web. Be warned: Canary can be unstable. Many people assume that a Fire TV Stick or Cube doesn’t include the option to block YouTube channels from appearing in your feed. This is because there is no menu icon (three vertical dots) when you highlight a video in your feed. However, we discovered a trick that DOES present the option to block a channel from appearing in your homepage feed. For example, under web & app activity it says Google “saves your activity on Google sites and apps, including associated information like location, to give you faster searches, better recommendations and more personalized experiences in Maps, Search and other Google services”.

  14. Fidelity Investments is paying 2,000 employees to hasten their corporate exits, including high-profile RIA overseer, Sanjiv Mirchandani, as part of its shift to a digital future Searching for your content… Fidelity Investments pulls out stops on perks to raise headcount by 7,000 — by hiring 9,000 — to shrug off labor shortages, escalating wages and call center attrition For those with at least $250,000 to invest, Fidelity offers their Wealth Services program. A dedicated Fidelity advisor will help you develop your goals and understand your options, along with comprehensive planning and personalized investment management. There are also tax smart strategies employed to minimize the tax bite of your investment activities. A Gorman lieutenant to exit. Morgan Stanley COO Jonathan Pruzan, once considered a potential successor to CEO James Gorman, is leaving the company at the end of the month. He will depart after nearly 30 years at Morgan Stanley. During that time, he held various executive positions, including CFO, head of corporate strategy, and head of the company’s U.S. bank group.
    https://yellow.place/en/business-in-podgorica-podgorica-montenegro
    The influx of this institutional capital is one element driving the surge in single-family housing prices and rents across the US today, and despite negative media scrutiny, rising rents are attracting even more investors. While profit is clearly the investors’ goal, the evolving circumstances that now make single-family homes a desirable holding have implications for both the models used to make investment decisions and the way assets are allocated across their portfolios. “Even before the boom of investors, the American homebuyer had already been facing an uphill battle,” says Christian Wallace, head of real estate services at Better. “When you add in the deep pockets of Wall Street firms, homebuyers won’t stand a chance.”

  15. He finished second in his Masters debut in 2021 and T-6 in 2022. The Masters isn’t until April of next year, but sportsbooks were ready to take golf fans’ futures bets on who will win the big major at Augusta National in the spring when it was announced this week that qualifying LIV Golfers will be invited to the event. The British Masters goes back to 1946 although it did once disappear from the schedule. Michael Smith, the newly-crowned world number one and PDC world champion, is the big box-office draw at the Dome in Sakhir, although there will be no rematch of his thrilling Ally Pally final clash with Michael van Gerwen; the Dutchman is a non-runner in the desert. “I can walk on a treadmill all day,” Woods said last month. “That’s easy. That’s just straight, there’s no bumps in the road. But walking on a golf course where there’s undulations, I have a long way to go. It’s been tough, but I’ve gotten here, I’ve gotten this far and I still have a long way to go. Each and every day’s a fight, and I welcome that fight. Get up in the morning, let’s go a few more rounds.”
    https://dantekjgi444444.tinyblogging.com/nba-betting-websites-59276876
    Copyright © 2008-2023 OddsPortal Tipman Tips are the UK’s largest subscription-based tipping service who provide their 2,000 members with daily tips across a range of sports, including Football, Racing, and US Sports. England – Premier League Increase your investment by 10-20%. Learn everything you need to know about sure bets! Copyright © 2008-2023 OddsPortal Houston Texans vs Indianapolis Colts Prediction, 1 8 2023 NFL Picks, Best Bets & Odds Week 18 by Josh Schonwald – 1 3 2023 At bettingexpert, we believe in the strength of our community and nourishing true tipster talent. Our SuperTipster tier is reserved only for the absolute best tipsters on our tips hub. We regularly revise the list of SuperTipsters to ensure that our community and visitors can always rely on us to deliver cutting-edge betting advice and analysis and numbers that back them up.

  16. Deutschland Casino Bonus Ohne Einzahlung – Bei welchen Online Casinos gibt es Freispiele? Wer sich bei einem Online Casino registriert und mit Echtgeld Spielautomaten oder andere Games spielen möchte, den interessiert zunächst der Willkommensbonus. Dann geht um die Auswahl der Spiele, das Vergnügen und natürlich möglichst viele und hohe Gewinne. Doch wie kommen diese Gewinne beim Online Slot eigentlich zustande? Wir haben uns angeschaut, was es mit den Auszahlungsquoten auf sich hat. In unserem Bericht haben wir dir die sechs Slots mit den höchsten Auszahlungsraten aufgezeigt. Einen einzigen Spielautomaten zu benennen ist nicht möglich, da gleich mehrere Slots die Grenze von 95% knacken. Wie die meisten von Ihnen bereits wissen, gibt es 3 Haupttypen von Slot-Volatilität: Spiele mit hoher, mittlerer und niedriger Varianz. Nach einigen präziseren Klassifikationen können die Spielautomaten in 5 Volatilitätskategorien unterteilt werden: hoch, mittelhoch, mittel, niedrig-mittel und niedrig.
    http://www.xn--vk1bo0k7odj4dwpa.kr/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=814969
    Verpassen Sie diese Chance nicht, um superreich zu werden. Am Freitag, dem 1. Februar 2019, gibt’s bei EuroMillions einen Super-Jackpot zu gewinnen. Es warten nicht weniger als 135 Millionen* Franken im prallgefüllten Jackpot. In Großbritannien ist der Gesamtumsatz von EuroMillions wie folgt aufgeteilt: Euromillionen wird in den neun europäischen Ländern Belgien, Frankreich, Großbritannien, Irland, Luxemburg, Österreich, Portugal, Spanien und Schweiz gespielt. Der letzte Super-Jackpot war im Februar 2021 in der Schweiz geknackt worden, der Gewinner erhielt 210 Millionen Euro. Dieser Artikel muss sein Aktualisiert. Bitte aktualisieren Sie diesen Artikel, um aktuelle Ereignisse oder neu verfügbare Informationen wiederzugeben. ((Juni 2019)

  17. Remember, middle schoolers, your final grade also depends on the topic you choose for your essay. Many middle school students find it difficult to come up with an interesting topic for their essays. For your help, we have provided you with interesting essay topic ideas that you can choose from. C1 – Essay Topic Question 3 | Advanced (CAE) Prof. Mary K., online essay writer from EssayPro The goal of an essay is to empower learners to build ideas and concepts in their writing with little more than their thoughts as a guide (it may be helpful to view the Essay as the converse of a research paper). As a result, essays are, by definition, brief and necessitate clarity of purpose. Writing ESL essay writing is hard for most students and many will struggle at first before learning to write well.
    http://cotta.ksubest.com/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=330809
    The expository essay is a genre of essay that requires the student to investigate an idea, evaluate evidence, expound on the idea, and set forth an argument concerning that idea in a clear and concise manner. This can be accomplished through comparison and contrast, definition, example, the analysis of cause and effect, etc. While the overall content of an expository essay will depend largely on the prompt, the student may have some freedom to choose the specific topic or at least the angle; he wants to illuminate in the paper. For instance, he could explain the origin of a particular group of individuals in society; in such a case, the author should make the story as interesting as possible. The writer could explain a cow’s digestion process for a process essay. Finally, a descriptive essay could describe a time when the writer experienced depression and what he believes to be the cause.

  18. Neon54:n joulukalenterissa on luukkuja uudenvuodenaattoon asti. Niiden takaa paljastuu talletusbonuksia, bonusrahaa tiettyihin peleihin tai ilmaiskierroksia. Joulukalenterin ilmaiskierrokset saa käyttöön ”haasteen” kautta eli panostamalla määrätyssä pelissä. VERTAA KASINOITA Suomen netticasinoissa kuhisee joulun alla, kun sivustoille ilmestyy uusia joulukalentereita ja jouluaiheisia kampanjoita. Mr Green Casinon joulukalanteri on yleensä todella odotettu ja varmasti nytkin monet pelaajat ovat palanneet halusta tietää, mitä yllätyksiä casino tänä jouluna järjestää. Ja nyt se on vihdoin tiedossa! Trustly-kasino TurboVegas tarjoaa ilmaiskierroksi joulupäivään saakka. Joulukalenterista lunastettavissa yhteensä jopa 1000 ilmaiskierrosta. Lunasta bonus kampanjasivulta, kierrossetin koko ja pyöräytysten arvo riippuu talletussummasta. (Min. 25€)
    https://list-wiki.win/index.php?title=Parhaat_casino_bonukset_ilman_talletusta
    Casino Gorilla auttaa sinua etsimään parhaat talletusbonukset netin viidakoista. Me teemme raskaan työn puolestasi ja päivitämme sivustoamme päivittäin tuoreimmilla bonuksilla sekä uusimmilla bonuskoodeilla. Kaiken kaikkiaan Nopeampi Casino pelivalikoima on todella laaja ja laadukas. Pääset nauttimaan monipuolisesta pelaamisesta parhaiden pelien parissa. Kaikki operaattorit eli casino brändit, mukaan lukien kaikki pikakasinot, ovat aivan tavallisia yrityksiä jonka tehtävänä on tuottaa voittoa omistajille. He kuitenkin ymmärtävät, että mikäli pelaajat käyttävät enemmän rahaa, mitä he pystyvät, niin pitkässä juoksussa myös kasino häviää. Nopeami kuuluu siis nettikasinoalalla viimeisen parin vuoden aikana erittäin nopeasti yleistyneiden ilman rekisteröitymisen pakkoa toimivien nettikasinoiden joukkoon. Käytännössä tämä tarkoittaa sitä, että sivustolle pääsee pelaamaan aina nopeasti, eikä erillisiä pelitilin rekisteröintejä ole käytössä.

  19. Red Dog Casino has quickly built up a solid reputation as one of the best online casinos to play for a number of reasons, but most of all for its excellent slots for real money offering. There is so much to enjoy at this casino that offers hours of entertainment fun with its online slot games. SlotsRoom SlotsRoom Casino No Deposit Bonus Codes 40 Free Chips (Code: “NDB40”) SlotsRoom Casino Review As the number of online casino players keeps increasing, the number of online casinos also… Progressive slots games pay out the most money, with Mega Moolah being the record breaker at €18,910,668.01. Our list of top rated online slot casinos show you the recommended games paying out real money. There are a huge variety of online casino slots paying out varying sums. These include classic three-reel slots, multi payline slots, progressive slots and video slots.
    http://magicglory.com/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=51161
    Most of these are fairly classic-style online slots with payline-based gameplay. So, you won’t find cluster-based slots, Megaways, or branded titles here. However, each game has a different bonus feature and unique theme that differentiates them enough to mix things up as you play different slots. Who Was Katherine Johnson? This ingenious Hungarian cut-up job sees cine-alchemist Péter Lichter plundering an archive of over 100 silent film prints and filching any fleeting moments that connect to the plot of Agatha Christine’s first Poirot novel, 1920’s ‘The Mysterious Affair at Styles’. So as the text is being intoned and subtitled on the screen, we have a cascade of images featuring dastardly cads and tragic dowagers (and there’s added layers of DOS loading screens and 1990s PC games such as Doom thrown into the mix). It’s a fun, clever lark, but would work like gangbusters if you knew Hungarian, as it’s very tough to read the dense subtitles and lavish in the torrent of images at the same time.

  20. Poker became legal in New Jersey on February 26, 2013, when Gov. Chris Christie signed Bill 2578. Nearly nine months later, in November 2013, the state’s first legal poker sites were launched. As per the law, gambling operators were required to partner with land-based casinos in Atlantic City. 888Poker teamed up with WSOP Caesars, partypoker and Pala Poker merged with Borgata, and PokerStars joined forces with Resorts Casino. When we evaluate the best poker sites, we keep a few parameters in mind. The most important parameter is the reliability of the poker site, whether the site is legit, licensed and reputable. While checking for the legitimacy of the poker site we also ensure whether the site has a SSL (secure sockets layer) certificate to ensure safe and secure gaming experience.
    https://www.tae-chang.biz/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=15757
    Online poker sites typically offer a wider range of games and variants than traditional poker rooms. This is because online poker sites don’t have the same space limitations as physical poker rooms, so they can offer more games and variants. Yes, you can play online poker for free. Many online casinos offer free-to-play poker games, allowing you to enjoy the thrilling game without risking any real money. The abovementioned platforms are some of the best free online poker sites available. Legislatures in those states hammered-out state online poker laws to regulate the industry, while allowing licensed poker sites to launch online gambling portals for residents inside the state. A handful of states — Delaware, Nevada, and New Jersey — even created an interstate poker compact that allowed card players to bet in shared player pools. Federal and state online gambling laws evolve to this day, so this guide to US online poker will cover both the established US gambling laws that affect online poker and those which might pass in the near future.