— 札幌トモエ幼稚園：登園日誌 —

誰の目に映った姿を「自分」と認識するかは自分次第

2019年4月10日
あっという間に年長さんになり
「やだ！怖い！」
「慈もついてきて」だったことが
 
「ひとりでやってみたい」
「できた！」
「だって年長さんだもん！」へと、変化しつつある。
 
昨日も、大人でも足がすくんでしまう山のブランコをひとりで乗れて嬉しそうにしていた。
 
彼女はいつだって自分のタイミング。
自分が行きたいと思わなければ、集団行動もしない
遊びたいと思えなければ、どんなに誘われても遊ばない
誰に似たのか？群れず「イヤなものはイヤ」とハッキリしている
 
そんな娘を「いつも遊ぶ友達がいない（かわいそうな）ヤツ」という子もいるけど
「面白いヤツ」と言って断っても断っても誘ってくれる子もいる。
ちなみに、私個人的には後者が好きだ。
 
で、なんだかんだ言っても彼女が
最後の最後までノッて遊んでいるのも後者の友だちだ。
 
昨日、トモエから帰ってきて
「今日は◯◯ちゃん（「コマは友だちがいない」という子）が他の友達と遊んじゃって悲しかった」
というから「そういえばね、◼️◼️（最近よく絡んでくる友だち）がね、お母さんに『コマは面白い！』って家で話してるんだって〜」というと

「えぇ、そうなの？知らなかった」と恥ずかしそうにしながらも顔がパッと明るくなった。

 

それでも「でもね、コマね友だちあんまりいない」と食いさがるものだから「トモエには何人かしかいないかもしれないけど、コマにはトモエ以外の色んなところ、例えば福島とか島牧とか東京とかさ、色んなところにたくさんお友達いると思うけどどう？」というと

「まぁね」と少し納得したご様子。

とここで、わからないかな？と思いつつ「コマのありのままを受け入れてくれる友だちが本当の友達だと、慈は感じるよ」と思ったことをそのまま伝えてみる。すると「でも、トモエには一人しかいないじゃん。◼️◼️しかいない！」という。

そうか、さっきのやり取りで◼️◼️はコマにとって、ありのままを受け入れてくれている、本当のお友だちという認識になったのか！

「友だちってさ、たくさんいればいいってもんじゃないと慈は思うよ。△△ちゃんだって、●●だってコマのことをわかってくれてる友だちだと、慈は感じてるけどな」というと。

「まぁ、そりゃそうだけど〜」と言って私の膝から去っていった。

彼女と馬が合う友だちは、大抵みんなコマと似たタイプで自分のタイミング、自分のペースで過ごしている。だから、コマと合うときもあれば合わない時もある。それでも、彼らの様子から「こういうヤツ」と決めつけることなく「コマはコマだから」という尊重の姿勢を感じている。

常に遊ばなくても、そんな友だちがいることの方が私は豊かだと感じるし
今私たちを支えてくれているのも、そんな大切な仲間たちだ。

その後、「誰の目に映ったコマ像を「自分」と認識するかは、コマ次第だよね〜」って孝介と話した。これは、コマだけじゃなく、私たち大人にも言えることだねと。

親子で通うトモエ幼稚園３年目の春。
在園のカウントダウンがはじまった。

私たち大人は、この1年でどこまで成長できるだろうか？それもまた楽しだ。

“誰の目に映った姿を「自分」と認識するかは自分次第” に185件のコメントがあります

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