札幌トモエ幼稚園:登園日誌

ハンカチの出てこない園長のマジック

「あああーーーーっ!」砂場にて大きな声が響き渡る。

ふと横を見ると、1歳9ヶ月の女の子が1歳を過ぎたばかりの息子の頭に砂をかけていた。叫び声の主は女の子のお母さん。

駆け寄り「ごめんね、ごめんね」と言いながら息子にかかった砂を払ってくれている。息子は全く動じずにきょとんとしたまま。

僕は、砂場の隣にあるブランコの位置から様子を見守る。頭にかかったり目に入ったりしたわけではないようだし、お母さんが迅速な対応をしてくれたおかげで安心して見ていられた。

「目に入ったりしたら危ないでしょ!しちゃダメ」と女の子を叱っていた。

けれども、彼女もきょとんとしたまま。理解はしていないと思われる。事実、1時間と立たぬまに、何もしていない息子の頭を二度ほど叩き、またしてもお母さんが飛んでくることに、、、

 

こうした経緯があったからか、そのお母さんは早速園長に相談したようだ。そしてどうやら、相談していると思われる最中にも女の子は別な子の顔を引っ掻いたらしい。大きな窓のそばにある、すべり台から大きな泣き声が聞こえてきた。ふと見ると、すぐそばで話をしていた園長が立ち上がり女の子を抱えて人気のないベランダへと消えていった。女の子に注意したのだろうか。

しばらくして、戻ってきた園長の姿を見つけた息子がハイハイで近寄っていくと、園長は息子と遊んでくれていた。すると、どこからともなくフラリとやってきた先の件の女の子がジョイン。「今度は大丈夫だろうか?」と少し離れたところでハラハラしながら見守っていると、2人は園長に促されるまま、大きなプラスチックケースの中に一緒に入ってどういう訳か仲良く遊びだした。

これは一体どうしたことか、あまりに不思議すぎてついつい2人のそばまで誘われてしまった。そこで見た光景は、小さな2人が箱の中に並ぶ、お雛様のような何とも可愛らしい様子。女の子がハーフで、それがまた輪をかけて可愛いのだ。

 

先ほどとは打って変わって、女の子はもう肩がぶつかろうが、頭が触れようが、息子を叩いたりはしない。それどころか、自分が食べていたごはんを「あーん」してくれるほどだった。息子よ、こんな可愛いハーフの女の子に「あーん」してもらえる機会は今後そうそう訪れないぞよ。

あまりに不思議だったので、園長の顔を見た。

園長は「大丈夫、もう叩かないよ」と言った。
そのカラクリを知りたいのですよ、園長。

「どうしてですか?」
園長に言わされた気がした。
でもこの状況で聞かないわけにはいかない。

「さっき、あそこで引っ掻いたろう」
木製のすべり台を指差した。

「はい、見てました」

「あのあと、園長は目を見てちゃんと伝えたからね。泣いてるよ、どうする?って」
そんな短い言葉じゃ全然わからない。つい次の質問をしてしまう。

「それだけですか?」

「目をじーっと見て言うんだ。責めたりはしない。そういう気持ちも入れない。ただ、泣いてるよ、どうするって。子どもは大人から尊重されている度合いに応じて自分を尊重するようになる。彼女は、園長に尊重されたと感じて、園長との信頼関係ができたんだ。だから、少なくとももう園長が見ている前では叩いたりしないよ。まぁ、今はさすがにフォーク持っているから刺したりしないかとヒヤヒヤしながら見ているけどね」
園長は笑いながらそう言った。

園長の言葉には、よくわからなくてもわかったような気分にさせられてしまうことが多いのだが、今回ばかりはそういうわけにはいかない。少し突っ込んで聞いてみる。

「目を見て伝えるとき、園長自身の感情は入らないんですか?例えば、(そういうことをすると)悲しいよとか」

「悲しいとか、やって欲しくないなって気持ちは入るよ、もちろん」

「じゃぁ、尊重する、信頼関係というのはどうやって?」

「目で伝えた後、こうやってくるっと遊んだんだ。」そういって園長は女の子の両脇を持って体ごと縦に一回転させて見せた。

「珍しい遊びをするとね、喜ぶんだよ。そうすると、子どもは自然と『この人は楽しいことをしてくれる人だ』という感覚を持つ。その楽しい感覚がある状態でむーちゃん(息子)と一緒に遊んだんだ」

起こした事象に対して、責めるではなく「泣いているよ、どうする?」と問いを投げかけたことは彼女の考えと決断を尊重すること。その後で楽しい遊びをすることは信頼関係を構築するためのプロセスだということか。本気で自分を尊重してくれる人に対して、子どもは決してなめてかかったりしない。どんなに小さくても全部分かっている。園長がいつも言っていることだ。園長理論を完全に理解できたわけではないが、少し合点がいった気がした。

「なるほど。楽しい感覚を持った状態のまま、園長とむーちゃんと一緒にいることで。彼女の中の楽しい感覚がむーちゃんがいても持続しているんですね」

「そう。でもね、この1回だけだとまたすぐに戻ってしまうことがあるから、何度か繰り返して慣らさないといけないね。園長ね、さっき(女の子の)お母さんと約束したんだ。何とかするって」

 

目の前で繰り広げられた、まさにマジック(魔法)のような出来事だった。園長がいつも披露するマジック(手品)よりもよっぽどマジカルだった。園長の実践というタネと仕掛けのあるマジックなのだから、こういう種明かしはぜひもっと欲しいと思った。
園長の長年の経験のなせる技なんだろうけど、それを言っちゃあオシマイよ。僕らは80歳になる前に、乳幼児の父母であるうちに必要としているのだから。

ハンカチの出てこない園長のマジック” に28件のコメントがあります

  1. とても素敵なエピソードですね♡

    私も三女が4年間トモエでお世話になった母ですが、このような一連の出来事を細やかに紐解いたお話を聞く機会はそうそうなかったように思います。
    なんとなくそうゆうことなのかなぁ〜と感じながらのトモエライフだったような…(^^)

    娘は今年中学3年生になり、その上の2人の年の離れた姉達はすでに社会人になりますが、親子、そして人とのかかわりの基本は、年齢は関係なく同じなのだろうな〜と思いながら読ませていただきました(^^)

    トモエを離れて、少し忘れかけていた大事なことを又思い出させていただきありがとうございます❗️

    貴重な園長のマジックのタネあかし笑
    必要としている方は私も含め沢山いると思ういますので、これからも引き続き現場のレポートを楽しみながらよろしくお願いします(^^)

    1. コメントありがとうございます。
      卒園なのですね、機会があればトモエで会えたら嬉しいです。
      トモエは本当に学びの多い場ですね。

      園長の経験やロジックは本当にすごいなといつも感じさせられているので、
      こういう形で少しでも記録していけたらと思っています。

  2. う〜ん、さすがですね!
    子育てにおいては、幼稚園保育園の先生からは学ぶことばっかりです。
    全く同じってわけにはいかなくても、小学校からもその感覚を取り入れて
    欲しいんだけどなあ、なかなかそうなはならないんでしょうね。

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