1歳1ヶ月を越えた息子は目が離せない。
放っておくとあっちにこっちに移動し「登る」「降りる」「失敗して泣く」を繰り返す。札幌の我が家はダイニングテーブルなもので、その椅子に登られると、気が気ではない。
幼児専用の安全シートがついている椅子に座らせて食事をするのだが、そこから抜け出して立ち上がる、後ろに反る、テーブルに登る、とやりたい放題。
もう、落ち着いて食事ができん!!!
ついつい声を荒げてしまう。
「座ってなさい!そうじゃないならシートベルトつけて拘束するからな」
目を見て少し強めに言ってしまった。
「ぅん!」
元気よくコクリと頷く1歳児。
あまりのタイミングの良さに絶句してしまった。
「え・・?ほ、本当にいいのか?ベ、ベルト、だぞ・・?」
なぜかしどろもどろになる。
「ぅん!」
またコクリと頷く。
こいつ、会話になっている・・。
これ以上何も言うことができない。
言い表せないこの敗北感はどうしてくれよう。
他にも、首を振ってのイヤイヤとか
両手を何度も交差させてのイヤイヤとか
寝転がって抗議の姿勢とか
監督時代のマラドーナのような両手を前に出して「欲しい」のポーズとか
指さしで「あっち行こう」とか
手をグーパーさせて「おいでおいで」とか
どんどんどんどんコミュニケーションのバリエーションが増えていく。
きっとこれまでもこちらの言わんとしていることはある程度理解していたのかもしれないが、ここにきて急に発信が増えてきた。まるでゲームをするかのように日々彼とのコミュニケーションを楽しんでいる。
トモエ幼稚園の60代のベテランスタッフと
「最近息子のコミュニケーションが増えてきて面白いんですよ。急に人間らしくなる感じがして」
と何気なく会話をしていたら、
「1歳を過ぎたこの時期は本当に面白いよね。その面白さを味わえるお父さんて少ないんだよ、もったいないよね」と返された。
「確かに、自分の子どもの成長を感じられるチャンスって、人生に数度しかないですものね」
「いやいや、その子その子で違うから。この子の成長は人生で一度きりしか味わえないんだよ」
さも当たり前のことと言わんばかりに、さらりと答えるスタッフ。
僕は激しく同意した。
気がついたら寝返りができるようになっていて、喋っていて、歩いていて。そんな人生に一度しかないとっておきの瞬間を見逃してしまったら、本当にもったいない。
YouTubeがどんなに普及していても、我が子の成長ハイライトは、ワールドカップのゴールシーンみたいに誰かが編集して見せてくれはしない。
ライブを見逃したら一生見ることは叶わない。
そこまでして見る価値はあると僕は思っている。
我が子の大きな成長の瞬間はどんな映画やスポーツよりも感動する。
かつて小泉純一郎が「感動した!」と言った貴乃花の優勝の瞬間よりも感動するはずだ。
だから今、人間として成長真っ只中にある息子とのコミュニケーションをもっと楽しんでいこうと思う。
きっとすぐに生意気になって、憎まれ口を叩くようになるんだろうけど、それをし始めた瞬間に気づいたときは「おおお!こいつ成長した!」と内心感動していることだろう。
その感動を妻と、家族とシェアできたら、どんなに幸せなことだろうか。
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